Life without Facebook.

We live in a world where fruit have their own facebook page. You can’t rummage for a ripe lemon without the white “f” with the blue background staring at you - begging, pleading for you to “like” it. Every website now has a range of favicons saying, “like me”, “talk to me”, “watch me”. It seems that every company is now that fat kid picked last for sports practice jumping up and down saying, “pick me, pick me, pick me” to the cool kids.

As well as making companies look a bit like your aunty Mildred, it has also revolutionised the way that we communicate with our friends and family. When I say friend, I use the term loosely - it can be anyone from your closest and dearest childhood pal to that dude you met at a that party that one time.

Facebook is marketed as a communication tool, a way to keep in touch and keep connected with your “friends”, but how well do we really communicate on facebook? And when does keeping in touch become downright stalking.

While travelling or meeting travellers, facebook has been a medium to keep friendships going without making much effort. Physical distance has meant that the only face to face time that we can have is through computer screens. We can keep in touch with each other without actually having to say hello. We can go on each other’s profile and see what job they have, if they are dating anyone, and where in this big wide world they are - with no words exchanged.

This type of voyeuristic communication can be particularly dangerous when it comes to ex-boyfriends or girlfriends. In a study of “friending”, they described “facebook stalking” as addictive. Even though we didn’t really want to see a photo of him looking awfully smug with some girl (or whore) we just can’t help but check from time to time. Does it make us feel good to see him enjoy his life with that slut that belongs in a "binge drinking" story on the 6o'clock news? No! He should be in a foetal position rocking back and forth – crying, no weeping - with a bottle of gin as he watches Hugh Grant movies and thinking about “the one that got away”.     

  

The internet enables weak ties with low levels of commitment. When one of our friends has “big news” a new job, an engagement, they screwed a light bulb in by themselves. Instead of ringing them or visiting them to tell them we are happy for them, we can take a second to press the “like” button to show that we care.

And our egos skyrocket as the number that “like” our status begins to climb. Even though it is such a weak form of communication and it took a second to do, it seems there is something in quantity over quality. When the number of “likes” gets into double digits our egos are nicely stroked. Heaven forbid only one person “like” our status update, or worse – none.

It also enables obsessive and compulsive procrastination. Those red notification icons have become the modern day equivalent of a ringing telephone and even though you have other terribly important things to do, like uh, I dunno, finishing a Masters thesis, you can’t help but log on and check for those little red bundles of love. Even though most of the time you’re disappointed that it’s just a request for Farmville or what not!

For this past couple of weeks I have been facebook free. Free is the best way to describe it. I get on the computer and actually do what I intend to do, instead of getting sidetracked and before I know it, it’s bed time. It hasn’t effected my relationship with my close friends – if anything it’s strengthen them - as I have to use more intimate forms of communication where words are actually exchanged. And I have to rely on my memory banks for my friend’s birthdays. I do have a little bit of FOMO – especially when it comes to events and keeping in contact with people overseas, but mainly I’m enjoying the break. Like the “reclaim your Sunday mornings” where people pledge to be alcohol free for a month; I might just start the “reclaim your real life” revolution. 


(But please "like" this blog post! Who am I kidding - I was the fat kid at netball practice - "like me, like me, like me".)