Talking about a taboo in Bolivia

One of the official flags of Bolivia. The colours closely resemble the gay pride flag, but confusing the two will provoke a strong reaction. 

Before I came to Bolivia, I knew that it was a predominantly Catholic country and patriarchal society. I knew that gay rights would be miles behind New Zealand, but that didn’t stop me being shocked and on the verge of tears when I had a conversation with my Spanish teacher about such matters.

He is an otherwise progressive Bolivian who I get on well with. He doesn’t believe in religious extremism and moved away from his family to attend university when the majority of Bolivians depend on their parents until they are married, or even after. He has formed views that go against the societal norm when it comes to equal rights for men and women, but he thinks there is something weird about being gay. He said he doesn’t like how feminine gay men are and he just doesn’t get it. He thinks it’s unnatural and he is even scared of gay men, once refusing to play a sport because their were men wearing makeup on the court.

I come from a place where the majority of people rejoiced when New Zealand legalised gay marriage. Our Prime Minister attends events like Big Gay Out to canvas for votes, so it was strange to hear homophobia being spoken about so openly. And I understand why he has these views, because he grew up in a society that views homosexuality as a sin and something to be feared. He has never known anyone who is openly gay nor has he really been exposed to it. So his idea of a gay man is one of pure stereotypes: the uber camp man who wears makeup and wants to corrupt every straight man he lays his eyes on.    

He believes that homosexuality is something that happens if society allows it. I tried to argue in basic Spanish that if that was the case, then there wouldn’t be gay people living in Bolivia. I told him that our walking tour guide in La Paz was gay and was frustrated about not being accepted by his own country. I tried to tell him that statistically he most likely does know gay people but they might feel ashamed of their sexuality because it is considered indecent and sinful behavior in Bolivia. I tried to tell him that some of my friends who are gay hid their sexuality in high school because they wanted to be accepted and not a target of bullying and abuse.

The conversation ended with neither of us bending our views, both agreeing that our opinions are largely formed  on the environment where we live, which includes who our friends are and what information we are exposed to. I couldn’t really concentrate on the rest of the class with tears stinging my eyes as a result of what I had just heard.

My teacher once stopped his friend from beating up a gay man. A gay man had offended the friend by hitting on him. Afterwards my teacher thought he would most likely want to do the same if it was him in his friend‘s position . Once again in basic Spanish, I tried to tell him that women get unwanted attention from guys all the time, and maybe knowing what it felt like would help change that.  

My homework that evening was to be a fortune teller. I wrote there will be a radical law change in Bolivia and the president would make gay marriage legal. My teacher will discover that one of his friends he plays football with is gay and he will have a choice to make; to accept him, or not. My teacher will realise that his friend is the same person as before and wants him to be happy just like everyone else. His friend will be very grateful but will continue to live in secret because he knows his family and other friends will not feel the same way.

I didn’t know how my teacher would receive it and didn’t want to write anything too radical incase it offended him too much. I thought of it as a balancing act between respecting Bolivian culture/religion and standing up for gay rights. Luckily my teacher received it well, and maybe if a similar situation happens to him, he will think about it differently.

Bolivia is becoming a more equal society in so many ways. Their president Evo Morales is the first indigenous president in South America and has been a role model for the indigenous people which makeup about 70% of the population. There is no longer as strong a divide between Spanish decedents, mixed races, African Bolivians and indigenous people with Evo Morales declaring they are all equal. The gap between men and women is slowly closing, and I hope, it’s only a matter of time before gay people also gain equal rights.