What did we do before Adele?

The best piece of advice you can give to someone going through a break up is to do the things you love.

 I love to write, but the problem is that the only thing I can think about is this break up I went through over the weekend. I did write a pretty intimate and personal account about it, and even though I have no doubt I would be the next “Adele” if I posted it, out of respect for my ex boyfriend, and to my dignity, I decided not to.

So something a bit more abstract, the significance of music when you are going through a break up. The break up before this break up, I was waiting in line at the bank, and Zowie, “broken machine” came on, and I couldn’t help it, I started crying. Music reaches out to the emotions you are trying to repress and forces them to the surface, and when you are in a public place, it can be quite an inconvenience.

First off the obvious. “Someone like you” by “Adele”.

It doesn’t matter if your parakeets are fighting, you didn’t get the job or you are going through a break up, “someone like you” just makes you cry. I think it’s the total paradox between the lyrics and the emotion in her voice. She is trying to be strong and tell her former lover to be happy, and not to worry about her, she’ll be fine, yet she so obviously still loves him. Even if it has no relevance to your situation, you just have a good cry anyway.

 “Life’s a happy song” by “Bret Mckenzie and Kermit the Frog”

I used to like this song, now it makes my eye twitch uncontrollable and an irrational desire to punch holes in walls. At my friend’s wedding, this was the song they played as the happy couple walked down the aisle after they got married. “Life’s a happy song when there’s someone by your side to sing along.” I was bouncing along to it while the happy couple laughed and skipped down the aisle.

 It just so happens that this song was on loop in my head right after we broke up later that night.

I would much rather have “someone like you” suck in my head after a break up than the cutest song in the world that connects happiness to companionship.

It’s strange that in a moment, a song goes from, “aw that’s so cute” to torture. That song used to make me feel the obvious emotion – happiness, but now it kind of feels like failure. I failed to find someone to sing along with. I am single once again, and according to that song, being single equals being unhappy.

Now my former strong, indignant single identity is like, who says you need a man to be happy?

I have learnt a few things through these break ups, and the best way to get over someone isn’t to get under someone, it’s to focus on you.  Just do things that make you happy and fuck “the happy song”!

“Somebody that I used to know” by “Gotye feat. Kimbra”

In pretty much all the break ups I have been through, there is the “let’s be friends” clause that makes breaking up slightly more bearable. You spent so much of your time together that giving up that connection all together seems like such a waste. Technically, well, according to facebook, I am friends with my exboyfriends, but I haven’t really seen or heard from any of them lately (There really isn’t that many).

They have kind of turned into “somebody that I used to know”. And I mean, that’s the goal really isn’t it, to get over them, and leave them behind and move forward. It's still sad, that someone who was so a part of your life is now someone you make small talk with in the supermarket.

I hope we can overcome the odds and not turn into strangers from a different life.

 Music mainly is written about love, about being in love, love loss, unrequited love, or finding love. When I was little I asked my Dad why pop songs were always about love, and he told me that it was an experience that we all go through, it’s the most relatable topic in the world. When love throws us a pile of shit, pop music makes it impossible to escape from facing up to it, it’s played in banks, bars, coffee shops, even on the link bus. Most of the time it’s background noise, but when we are hurting, it’s like a big loud speaker.