The Rose in the Lily Pond

Lately every weekend has been filled with weddings and hens nights, it has forced me to revaluate my relationships and what I really want out of love. Those who know me, know that I am not the biggest fan of marriage, I remember telling one of my friends who got married recently, “maybe when I’m 50 I’ll get married, because then I’ll be closer to death.” Somehow the marriage gene has skipped me. I never enacted with Barbie dolls two people walking down the aisle, or envisioned a dress, a cake, food, a venue. It’s just never been a big deal for me. Perhaps that has something to do with my parents. My mum and dad married when I was about 9 years old, I got to be a bridesmaid at my Mum’s wedding. The reason they got married is because my Dad had a near death experience, and one of his regrets would be not marring her, and Mum kinda felt like she couldn’t say no to that. There is a lot of love between my parents, but marriage wasn’t really a big deal. It was a low key day.

Whatever it is, eating a piece of cake while you are on a diet, drinking to excess when you have to work the next day, going to bed with someone who you aren’t meant to go to bed with, tagging a “make Kony famous” sign on a side of a building, having sex in a public place. I know these are minor illicit acts in the whole scheme of things but I get how doing something that goes against the laws of normality is so exciting and spellbinding. Why is that? Someone can try talk sense into you as much as you want, but once you have a bite of cake, it’s almost impossible to resist eating the whole piece.   There are consequences for all these things; feeling sick, having a hangover, getting hurt, getting caught, having to clean sand out of places you have never had to clean sand out of before, but somehow these things don’t matter. Is it the thrill that you can cheat the laws (real or moral) and not have to suffer the consequences?  Looking to Google for the answers, it leads me to a whole

The best piece of advice you can give to someone going through a break up is to do the things you love.  I love to write, but the problem is that the only thing I can think about is this break up I went through over the weekend. I did write a pretty intimate and personal account about it, and even though I have no doubt I would be the next “Adele” if I posted it, out of respect for my ex boyfriend, and to my dignity, I decided not to. So something a bit more abstract, the significance of music when you are going through a break up. The break up before this break up, I was waiting in line at the bank, and Zowie, “broken machine” came on, and I couldn’t help it, I started crying. Music reaches out to the emotions you are trying to repress and forces them to the surface, and when you are in a public place, it can be quite an inconvenience. First off the obvious. “Someone like you” by “Adele”. It doesn’t matter if your parakeets are fighting, you didn’t get the job o